Sleeping Baby

Last week I went to visit my friend who just had her baby.  We cooed and fussed over how precious and sweet he was and marveled at the miracle of life.  I tried my hand at holding a newborn again and was glad to see I could soothe and calm him for a few minutes.  But soon he was squirming and rooting and wanted nothing but his momma.  He was not needing to eat he had just done that but I reluctantly handed the little bundle back to his mommy.  I was amazed that in about 30 seconds time he was completely relaxed and contentedly asleep with his little arms crossed in front of him in his momma's arms.  It is so amazing that at 2 days old he knew who his momma was and could immediately relax in her arms.  This picture of him so little snuggled peacefully in his mommy's arms made my heart happy.

It also made me ponder my first few hours with my oldest son.  Our oldest son who is now 3 was adopted from Taiwan.  We did not meet him for the first time until he was 5 1/2 months old.  We received the wonderful news of him when he was 2 weeks old.  Every month the orphanage would send us an updated photo of him.  We mailed clothes, books, photos of ourselves and even a recorded greeting card to him.  We also called several times to the orphanage where they would indulge us by holding the phone up to his ear so we could talk to him for a few minutes and hear his precious coos.  But that was it, our contact with him was very limited. The first ten days of his life were spent in the hospital because he was very sick.  All we know and were told was that "the life was prayed back into him".  The next 5 months he spent in a loving orphanage being taken care of by several different women.

When we traveled over there and finally got to meet him for the first time we were strangers.  Yet we weren't, it was as if by some miracle he knew we were his parents the very ones God had chosen for him.  We bonded instantly with him.  Our very meeting was surprising in itself.  Imagine being in an airport in a foreign country just having traveled for 20 some hours straight.  We were waiting for the person picking us up and we were told our baby would not be coming to the airport.  Suddenly, we hear our names called and we turn and there he is with our SON.  I was overwhelmed with joy and took him in my arms and of course cried.  I remember how we took turns holding him and he just stared at us.  We then had to rush out to the waiting vehicle.  As we drove we held him in our arms and played with him and talked to him.  In what seemed like not very long he was asleep in my arms.

As I reflected on the experience with my dear friend and her newborn it struck me at the miracle of my first meeting with my son.  A baby does not just relax and fall asleep in anyone's arms, they need to feel safe, secure and loved.  I believe that it was only through the grace of God that we bonded so quickly with the son he gave us.  We talk to our son about being adopted and tell him "his story" in words he can understand and process.  Whenever I start telling it or ask if he wants to hear about when we first met, he says "Mommy, you cried".  And I say "yes, I cried because I was so happy to finally hold you and kiss you and hug you".

Now, as I look at the above picture of baby boy asleep in my arms for the very first time I appreciate and understand the significance of it and it brings tears to my eyes.

Double Trouble

I haven't written a post in awhile.  Life has been busy.  A lot of thoughts swirling in my mind but I'm not ready to write about most of them.  So I decided to keep this light hearted because I could use a few chuckles myself as I recall some funny stories from my two precious boys.

The boys both love bath time and enjoy playing in the tub together.  The other week as they splashed in the tub I was finishing washing the dinner dishes.  After awhile I realized there was an unusual amount of hysterical laughter coming from the bathroom.  It was the type of laughter that a mom instantly knows something is happening that shouldn't be.  I held my breath as I opened the door, it was as I expected TROUBLE.  My 17 month-old was pulling pieces of toilet paper off the roll and throwing it in the tub.  My 3 year-old was taking the wet toilet paper out of the tub and slinging it across the bathroom.  I had just changed the toilet paper roll that day and it was now empty.  This meant there was an entire roll of toilet paper in the tub and slung across my bathroom!  Thankfully, we have an extremely small bathroom and the walls are tile, so clean up was not too bad and the bathroom was overdue for a cleaning anyway.

The other morning I was outside playing with my boys.  We had gotten back from running errands so the car was parked in the driveway.  I was sitting on the porch and my 17 month-old went behind the car.  After about a minute I decided I better check on him and just as I'm going around the car I hear him crying.  He had ventured in to our neighbors garden and because of the torrential downpours the night before had sunk into the mud up to his ankles and could not move.  Luckily, I found him before he tried to free himself and it was only his feet that were covered in slimy mud!

I took both of my boys to a baby shower this weekend.  My husband was working and my aunt wanted me to bring the boys along.  Let's just say little boys and a shower are a challenge.  It took my mom, sister and myself to keep them wrangled.  My 3 year-old sucked down two chocolate milks before I knew what happened (the kind waitress had brought him a refill).  My 17 month-old was bound and determined to climb the stairs.  My 3 year-old told my mom that "There's nothing good here to eat".  Apparently caesar salad, lobster bisque, delicious wraps and gourmet chicken are not his favorite.  I was just waiting for one of them to grab the linen table cloth and empty the whole table.  My 3 year-old later made his way to the front of the room where my cousin was opening her gifts.  My other cousin said hi to him and asked him how he was.  He then decided to announce to the entire room "I just had a big poop".  Which was the truth, and it had just happened so I guess he thought she would want to know.  Can I crawl in a hole now!  But apparently at a baby shower anything little kids do is adorable and funny, whew.

We bought a power wheels truck for our 3 year-old son a while back.  He loves to drive it around our yard.  Our 17 month-old son wants to drive it so bad but is not big enough yet.  The other day it was out and my youngest son climbed in it.  Before I knew what happened my oldest son had squeezed in in front of him and was driving them both around.  It is not a two seater but they squeezed in, little brother in the back riding and big brother in the front driving.  They both thought this was the best thing and were having a blast.  They definitely looked like partners in crime and double trouble riding around together!  This is only a smidgen of the stories I could tell.  And I am sure there will be lots more to come.  But I thank God for the blessing of my two sons and the memories that they will make for me!

You Gave Life to Me

Mother's Day, I could write about so many different things for Mother's Day.  I could write about how thankful I am for my two grandmothers, my mother and my mother-in-law.  I am truly blessed with a wonderful heritage of loving, godly mothers.  I could easily write an entire post about my mom and grandmothers.

Or I could write about how blessed and thankful I am to be a mother.  The last three years I have looked forward to and enjoyed celebrating Mother's Day.  There were several years before that, that I dreaded the thought of having to put on a smile for another Mother's Day.  Another Mother's Day that was a reminder that I was still NOT a mother.  Another Mother's Day that would be an emotional roller coaster that my dear husband did not quite understand.  But now I have the two beautiful faces of my sons to look into and be eternally grateful to be called their mother.

But, there is something very different that I want to write about.  This year I am feeling a very different kind of emotion.  And I feel it is very selfish to admit that it is the first I have thought about it.  It has to do with the birth mother of my 3-year old son.  I wonder if her heart aches on mother's day thinking of the child that she is no longer holding in her arms, in fact the very child that I now hold in my arms.  I wonder if Mother's Day is even harder for her than it was for me during my days of infertility.  For I was grieving the absence of being a mother, she is a mother grieving the absence of her child.  I often pray for her as she comes to mind, but I have never truly thought of the grief she may experience on mother's day.

I stumbled across the song "Everything to Me" by Mark Schultz today.  I've heard the song on the radio but had never heard his story behind it or watched the video.  I was in tears.  He is adopted and wrote this song about what he would say to his birth mother if he ever met her and recognized the agonizing decision she made to give him a better life.

If you have a few minutes watch this video from Mark Shultz Story behind "everything to me"

Now watch the music video to the song "everything to me" music video

Do you need a tissue?  Read the lyrics to the chorus:

You gave life to me

A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me

This is a powerful song and testimony to the love and sacrifice a birth mother often makes when she gives up her child to the arms of another.  I think this song will speak to the hearts of anyone that adoption has touched.

So this year on Mother's Day I am going to say a prayer for my son's birth mother a prayer that she will experience grace and peace in her life and know that she made the best decision she could for her son.  I am also thinking of a way that my son can honor and remember his birth mother the woman who gave life to him on Mother's Day.  He may be a little young this year but it is definitely something I am going to tuck away for thought.  For I know I am eternally grateful to her for giving life to this beautiful child that is now my own!

The Pet Bunny Named Tree

I remember one Easter when I was fairly young my sister and I each received a white pet bunny.  We were ecstatic and thought it was the best Easter present ever.  However, I remember them being wriggly and scratching us and not being very cuddly.  I also soon understood the phrase "breeding like rabbits".  Magically the two "male" bunnies that my dad got us quickly turned in to about a dozen!

Fast forward 20 plus years and my dad has now built a rabbit hutch for my two boys.  It was a process, Papa built it, grand pop painted it, uncle delivered it and daddy took them to pick out their bunny.  They were excited little boys as we put our shoes on to go get a bunny.  We debated getting two bunnies, because our pen was big enough, but I had already learned that with bunnies 1+1=12 or so.

As we followed the lady back the path to where she kept the bunnies she told my 3 year old that she has one as big as him.  She was not kidding!  I have never seen such a gigantic bunny in my life, she said it weighed 20 pounds.  As we talked rabbits with her we decided on a chinchilla (grey) dwarf.  And she said she thought it was a male but couldn't tell for sure, she admitted they all look like males until they are older.

The bunny is adorable and surprisingly cuddly and mellow. It even allows my 16 month old to "pet" it (which is more akin to hitting).  It has a grey salt and pepper look to it, so I thought pepper would be a cute name.  I suggested this to my 3 year old, but he has become very insistent upon naming the bunny Tree.  We tried other suggestions like smoke.  But he keeps insisting upon Tree.  Where did he come up with Tree?  We tried explaining that tree is not a name.  But then again there are children with names like prairie, rain, sierra and just about anything you can imagine.  Maybe I should let him name his bunny Tree so someday I don't have a grandchild named Tree!  And really what makes pepper and smoke any more reasonable of a name for a bunny than Tree other than the fact that we have heard those names before.  Well, I have not consented to Tree just yet, I thought I will let him sleep on it and see what the morning brings.

But I think I could live with the name Tree for the newest member of our family.  And who am I to stop the imaginative mind of a 3 year old and their desire to give their bunny a rather silly name.  Although as I was putting him to bed I asked him one more time what we should name the bunny, he said "mommy" repeatedly while giggling.  So I guess it's either Tree or Mommy!