The Blah's

It has been a week of the blahs.  I was sick, really sick for 24 hours.  I mean I can't remember the last time I was that sick.  I went to bed with a headache and upset stomach and woke up at midnight really sick.  I was almost completely out of service for 24 hours straight.  Fortunately, it was a day my husband was home and was able to take care of the wee ones for me.

What is it about being a mother that makes us feel so guilty for getting sick?  I kept mumbling apologies to medic hubby all day long amidst puking and exhaustion.  I don't remember ever feeling so guilty when I had to miss work because I was sick.  And the thing is before kids I could call off work and lay in bed in a quiet house and rest.  Now with kids I have to power through sickness and continue to take care of them.  This time I was actually so sick I couldn't do that, so I did lay in bed and tried to sleep.  But I could hear the screaming and bickering and general struggle that was going on downstairs, this does not help to ease a mother's feeling of guilt. 

I woke up at midnight the following night and could immediately tell I was on the mend.  I felt better the next morning but not great.  Medic hubby was working the next two days so I had no choice but to power through.  I do have family close by which is a big blessing.  It was wonderful to know they were only a phone call away if needed.  As I finished off my second bottle of orange Gatorade on day number 3, I mustered all of the stamina I could to make it through a 24 hour day of medic hubby working.  And I'm not going to lie, it was not a pretty sight.  There was a lot of Thomas watching, a lot of crying and a lot of tired sighs. 

Till the weekend rolled around I was feeling really just blah.  Maybe it was partly the blahs that come with the end of winter.  As I tried to explain to medic hubby how I was feeling he gave me the kick in the butt I needed.  If there is one thing he lacks (I do love the man) it is empathy.  I think it is partly to do with the jaded view that has come with his career.  He basically said stop having a pity party and do something!  

And he is right.  I take my health for granted everyday.  Even though it was a very crummy week, I am very thankful for the good health that I do have.  I think of those who are dealing with cancer and every type of physical pain and heartbreak.  So many people live day to day in pain and yet remain positive and often encouraging to others.  There is no place in my life to have a pity party for myself! I am blessed beyond words.  As my 2 1/2 year old son had said "I am running over blessed"!  Some days I do need this reminder.