Have you ever had a moment in time that was so beautiful you wanted to capture it in your heart? I've had several moments like this. In fact, I had one just yesterday. It was something my mind's eye captured and it will remain in this momma's heart. It was so simple yet so beautiful.
My youngest son had just woken up from his nap. He was standing in our living room with one tear-drop still in the corner of his eye and his hair mussed from sleeping (the little bit he has). He was looking a little dazed trying to wake up. My older son out of the blue came up behind him wrapped his small arms around his little brother's neck hugged him and gave him a kiss on the back of the head. This immediately brought a smile from sleepy little brother who turned to look admiringly at his big brother. As he turned I saw the wet mark from that big slobbery kiss (big brother is a drooling machine). It was a sweet, simple moment that stole my breath away.
For these two little boys are not brothers by blood, but they are brothers in every sense of the word. They look nothing alike. Big brother is almost 3 and has beautiful light brown skin with black hair and dark brown eyes and is on the small side. Little brother is 15 months old has fare skin, light hair and light brown eyes and is not on the small side, haha. I think in a few years they will be in the same size clothing. As I'm sure any mother of adopted children or blended families understands, I have worried about these things. I worry what other people will say to or in front of my sons. People don't mean to, but they can say really ignorant, hurtful things. I worry about what kids will say to them someday when they get older. But worry has no positive outcome. I've decided the best thing I can do for them is help them to understand that they ARE REAL brothers no matter what anyone says. Being birthed of the same mother does not make these two brothers. But playing, fighting, laughing, loving and living life together and having a mommy and daddy who love them unconditionally, does make them brothers! They are brothers and I dare anyone to ever tell them differently, for they will face this momma bear.
So that is why this quiet moment of gentle love was captured in my heart and will remain there. It is proof to me that family is what me make it, it is who we love, who we open our hearts to. Family is who we unconditionally promise forever to. That is why when children are adopted people often say "they are now with their forever family". To me it is a beautiful picture. A beautiful picture of what it is like to be adopted in to God's forever family. I can picture Jesus some day wrap his arms around me in love and place a kiss on the top of my head and say welcome to your forever family.
"How great is the Love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him" 1John 3:1
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Choices, choices, choices
I am a fairly good decision maker. I normally do not agonize over the color of a shirt or which sandals to buy when shopping. I tend to make a fairly quick decision, feel good about it and stick with it. Now that I have two little boys, decisions are made even faster. I remember needing a new bathing suit before our vacation last spring. I had my 3 month old, 2 year old and husband all at the mall and I needed a swimsuit. This is one thing I think every woman hates shopping for and I am no different. A normal shopping trip for a swimsuit usually takes me many stores and often several weeks. But I was under extreme circumstances here. I picked out about 4 swimsuits to try on and actually found one I liked, I think it took about 30 minutes total, this was a record for me! Little boys and husbands sure do speed up the process when shopping.
There are some people on the other hand that seem to carefully weigh all of the pros and cons of every minute decision. This would be my sister. Ever since she was little I can remember waiting for what seemed like forever for her to make decisions. She would go back and forth over what color jelly shoes or leg warmers to buy (yes, we are 80's babies). Even deciding what kind of ice-cream to get was a monumental decision! Sorry, sis but you know it's true. She has gotten better as she's grown older and I think when she has children some day she will become an even faster decision maker out of necessity.
I am not saying either is right or wrong. There are plusses in making quick decisions and plusses in taking your time in making decisions. Medic hubby and I have had a lot of decisions and choices to make over the last few weeks. We have stayed up late nights talking through pros and cons and reassuring each other that we are making the decision that is in the best interest of our family. There definitely is a time and place for taking your time in making a big decision.
This morning when I was taking a shower I had a revelation. This seems to be the place where I often have profound thoughts (probably because it is the only time I get to myself)! I have been very stressed and cranky lately because of everything we have had going on and the strain of an over loaded schedule. I wondered what happened to the happy, positive and thankful person I had been the last few months. And then it dawned on me this is a decision, a choice I have to make everyday. I need to choose to be positive, happy and thankful. This was more of a duh moment than a profound moment, because I know this! But it is amazing the difference a positive attitude can have on your life.
There are some people on the other hand that seem to carefully weigh all of the pros and cons of every minute decision. This would be my sister. Ever since she was little I can remember waiting for what seemed like forever for her to make decisions. She would go back and forth over what color jelly shoes or leg warmers to buy (yes, we are 80's babies). Even deciding what kind of ice-cream to get was a monumental decision! Sorry, sis but you know it's true. She has gotten better as she's grown older and I think when she has children some day she will become an even faster decision maker out of necessity.
I am not saying either is right or wrong. There are plusses in making quick decisions and plusses in taking your time in making decisions. Medic hubby and I have had a lot of decisions and choices to make over the last few weeks. We have stayed up late nights talking through pros and cons and reassuring each other that we are making the decision that is in the best interest of our family. There definitely is a time and place for taking your time in making a big decision.
This morning when I was taking a shower I had a revelation. This seems to be the place where I often have profound thoughts (probably because it is the only time I get to myself)! I have been very stressed and cranky lately because of everything we have had going on and the strain of an over loaded schedule. I wondered what happened to the happy, positive and thankful person I had been the last few months. And then it dawned on me this is a decision, a choice I have to make everyday. I need to choose to be positive, happy and thankful. This was more of a duh moment than a profound moment, because I know this! But it is amazing the difference a positive attitude can have on your life.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Responsibilities vs. Relationships
The balance between tasks and people has always been a challenge for me. I am a very task oriented person, I like having check-lists and checking things off...I know weird, right. I feel good when I get to the end of a day and I know I accomplished a lot. I give credit to my mom for teaching me to be efficient and run a household to the best of my abilities (she probably doesn't want to take credit, because lately my house is a disaster). I know responsibility is important and checking off those items is essential. But I am often convicted of the fact that more important than tasks are people! I feel I have grown a lot in this area over the last few years especially since kids came along.
The other day we had just put the boys down for their afternoon nap. I breathed a sigh of relief as my mind was racing ahead to my to-do list for the afternoon. Most days this is the only time I have to actually get anything accomplished. Just then we got an unexpected phone call from several college student friends who were close by and wanted to stop by for a visit. Of course, medic hubby being the easy-going, go with the flow guy that he is told them to come on over. Now, I love these kids dearly but was slightly annoyed at their timing. But I gave myself a pep talk of relationships before responsibilities. I washed a few dirty dishes to make myself feel better and then joined them on the porch. You know...it was the most refreshing afternoon I had in a long time. We sat on the porch and talked, laughed and reminisced about experiences we had shared. It was a delight to catch up with these kids and see how they are blossoming and maturing in to adults. As, they were pulling away in their car and I could hear the cries from my youngest son waking from his nap, I was reminded of the rewards of putting people before tasks.
I am constantly reminding myself of this with my sons too. Sometimes, I need to just take the time to play, act silly and enjoy my time with them. I don't want to be remembered as the person with the cleanest house and the most organized life, I want to be remembered as the one who took the time to listen, laugh and love. I recently read an article about the lost art of lingering. I want to learn to linger with people, over a cup of coffee, or during a meal or whatever the situation. I want to build honest and true relationships where they know they are much more important than my to-do list!
If you have knowledge of Bible stories you may remember the story of the two sisters Mary & Martha and Jesus visiting them. The short version is that Jesus comes and Martha is busy doing, doing, doing and Mary is quietly sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to him. Martha complains that her sister is not helping and Jesus answers "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Part of me wants to argue that Martha is only doing what is necessary to see to Jesus' needs and is showing hospitality. But the other part of me knows Jesus is right, sometimes the most important thing is to be still and listen.
I have to be honest if I really think about it I would much rather be lingering over a cup of coffee with someone than cleaning my house. So if you come to visit me, my house may be a mess but I will make you a mean cup of joe or a nice cup of tea and sit and linger with you!
The other day we had just put the boys down for their afternoon nap. I breathed a sigh of relief as my mind was racing ahead to my to-do list for the afternoon. Most days this is the only time I have to actually get anything accomplished. Just then we got an unexpected phone call from several college student friends who were close by and wanted to stop by for a visit. Of course, medic hubby being the easy-going, go with the flow guy that he is told them to come on over. Now, I love these kids dearly but was slightly annoyed at their timing. But I gave myself a pep talk of relationships before responsibilities. I washed a few dirty dishes to make myself feel better and then joined them on the porch. You know...it was the most refreshing afternoon I had in a long time. We sat on the porch and talked, laughed and reminisced about experiences we had shared. It was a delight to catch up with these kids and see how they are blossoming and maturing in to adults. As, they were pulling away in their car and I could hear the cries from my youngest son waking from his nap, I was reminded of the rewards of putting people before tasks.
I am constantly reminding myself of this with my sons too. Sometimes, I need to just take the time to play, act silly and enjoy my time with them. I don't want to be remembered as the person with the cleanest house and the most organized life, I want to be remembered as the one who took the time to listen, laugh and love. I recently read an article about the lost art of lingering. I want to learn to linger with people, over a cup of coffee, or during a meal or whatever the situation. I want to build honest and true relationships where they know they are much more important than my to-do list!
If you have knowledge of Bible stories you may remember the story of the two sisters Mary & Martha and Jesus visiting them. The short version is that Jesus comes and Martha is busy doing, doing, doing and Mary is quietly sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to him. Martha complains that her sister is not helping and Jesus answers "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Part of me wants to argue that Martha is only doing what is necessary to see to Jesus' needs and is showing hospitality. But the other part of me knows Jesus is right, sometimes the most important thing is to be still and listen.
I have to be honest if I really think about it I would much rather be lingering over a cup of coffee with someone than cleaning my house. So if you come to visit me, my house may be a mess but I will make you a mean cup of joe or a nice cup of tea and sit and linger with you!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
The child dare devil
My oldest son who is soon to celebrate his third birthday is a typical boy. He loves trains, tractors, cars, monster trucks, playing in the sand and dirt, collecting sticks and stones and etc. I have however, noticed a shred of cautiousness in him, to which I being his mother, am thankful. When driving his battery operated truck he will stop and look at his daddy to get a go ahead nod before driving off the short ledge between our garages. He will eyeball a jump off the porch and hesitate a moment before taking it. This gives me a measure of comfort that there is some thought going into all his boyish ways of jumping, running and climbing.
Then on the other hand there is his little brother. Little brother is 14 months old and a dare devil if I have ever seen one. From the time he started walking he was also climbing up on things. He climbs up on their little rocking chair, stands up holds on to the back and rocks back and forth laughing. He walks to the edge of the sofa and sees how close he can put his foot to the edge without falling off. Whenever I hear his big brother say "that is very dangerous", I go running in to see what little brother is doing!
Today, was another beautiful day with unseasonably warm temps and we were playing outside most of the day. Little brother's favorite outside game is to climb up the one side of the porch and walk around to the front and go down the three steps. Of course, this makes me nervous. But, he can maneuver the steps surprisingly well, so I give him the freedom to do so and it has not been a problem. Well, today he somehow tripped and fell down one step and hit his head. Thankfully, it was just a brush burn but it did create quite a goose-egg on his forehead. Oh, I felt awful and he cried. Sometimes I think he is just at that difficult age of not quite knowing what his limits are. But, then I think I didn't go through all of this with big brother! Little brother definitely seems to have the dare devil approach to everything he does!
I watched him later in the day climb in to the back of their Tonka dump truck and the momentum of him climbing in gave it foreword motion and it started to roll down the hill with him riding in the back. He also went up and down the same steps he fell on at least a dozen times after the fall. This evening he climbed up on to a wooden bench we have and was standing their doing some kind of crazy dance and laughing. He knows he is not to climb up there and does it for attention. He also likes to get a rise out of us and thinks that No means, that was funny do it again.
WOW, it is amazing how different each child is. We have challenges with both. But I get especially anxious thinking about what the future could hold for this little dare devil boy of mine. I can definitely see a thrill seeking streak in him that has to come from his daddy...right!
Then on the other hand there is his little brother. Little brother is 14 months old and a dare devil if I have ever seen one. From the time he started walking he was also climbing up on things. He climbs up on their little rocking chair, stands up holds on to the back and rocks back and forth laughing. He walks to the edge of the sofa and sees how close he can put his foot to the edge without falling off. Whenever I hear his big brother say "that is very dangerous", I go running in to see what little brother is doing!
Today, was another beautiful day with unseasonably warm temps and we were playing outside most of the day. Little brother's favorite outside game is to climb up the one side of the porch and walk around to the front and go down the three steps. Of course, this makes me nervous. But, he can maneuver the steps surprisingly well, so I give him the freedom to do so and it has not been a problem. Well, today he somehow tripped and fell down one step and hit his head. Thankfully, it was just a brush burn but it did create quite a goose-egg on his forehead. Oh, I felt awful and he cried. Sometimes I think he is just at that difficult age of not quite knowing what his limits are. But, then I think I didn't go through all of this with big brother! Little brother definitely seems to have the dare devil approach to everything he does!
I watched him later in the day climb in to the back of their Tonka dump truck and the momentum of him climbing in gave it foreword motion and it started to roll down the hill with him riding in the back. He also went up and down the same steps he fell on at least a dozen times after the fall. This evening he climbed up on to a wooden bench we have and was standing their doing some kind of crazy dance and laughing. He knows he is not to climb up there and does it for attention. He also likes to get a rise out of us and thinks that No means, that was funny do it again.
WOW, it is amazing how different each child is. We have challenges with both. But I get especially anxious thinking about what the future could hold for this little dare devil boy of mine. I can definitely see a thrill seeking streak in him that has to come from his daddy...right!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Raising Little Lambs
Spring, glorious spring, peaked it's head forth today. It was a beautiful day and the outdoors beckoned us. Both my boys love playing outside. My almost 3 year-old son can spend hours driving his cars around in his sand box or just laying digging in the dirt. My 14 month-old son loves to run full throttle through the yard and try to maneuver up and down every possible step and ledge.
As soon as we got outside I noticed something new in our neighbor's yard. Our neighbor is a retired farmer who has a huge garden and a meadow with three sheep and several chickens. Much to my delight I saw two lambs standing with their mother in the far pasture. I was so excited I quickly gathered up the boys and we walked over to have a closer look.
There is just something about newly born lambs. They are so adorable! They stuck closely to their mother's side and soon began to nurse. As I sat there on the soft grass in the warm sunshine with my boys, watching the lambs, I was struck with the contrast they were to their mother. Their mother had long dingy wool, was a bit fat and didn't look like anything special. But these lambs were a stark comparison to her with pure white wool on spindly, shaky legs. Isn't this how new life is? These new beings born into our broken, imperfect world. They come so beautiful, so full of life, yet so fragile. They depend completely on their mother for their very life.
As, I marveled over these things my oldest son pointed to the sheep poop and asked what it was. He then went on to ask if the sheep go on the potty. I explained that no they go poop in their meadow. And his interest in the new lambs was soon lost and my youngest son took off running through the farmer's field. But I couldn't resist dragging them back their a second time with my camera to get a few pictures of these little twin lambs. Their is another sheep that is big and fat and our neighbor said will probably give birth in another week or so. I am excited to watch these little lambs grow and run and jump in the meadow as I can only imagine lambs doing.
It makes me want to take my "little lambs" in my arms and give them a squeeze. I look forward to many more glorious spring days as I watch my kiddos romp around the yard and drink in the sunshine. I realize I may not get a lot accomplished over the coming months with the majority of our time spent outdoors but I will work on the most important thing and that is raising my little lambs!
As soon as we got outside I noticed something new in our neighbor's yard. Our neighbor is a retired farmer who has a huge garden and a meadow with three sheep and several chickens. Much to my delight I saw two lambs standing with their mother in the far pasture. I was so excited I quickly gathered up the boys and we walked over to have a closer look.
There is just something about newly born lambs. They are so adorable! They stuck closely to their mother's side and soon began to nurse. As I sat there on the soft grass in the warm sunshine with my boys, watching the lambs, I was struck with the contrast they were to their mother. Their mother had long dingy wool, was a bit fat and didn't look like anything special. But these lambs were a stark comparison to her with pure white wool on spindly, shaky legs. Isn't this how new life is? These new beings born into our broken, imperfect world. They come so beautiful, so full of life, yet so fragile. They depend completely on their mother for their very life.
As, I marveled over these things my oldest son pointed to the sheep poop and asked what it was. He then went on to ask if the sheep go on the potty. I explained that no they go poop in their meadow. And his interest in the new lambs was soon lost and my youngest son took off running through the farmer's field. But I couldn't resist dragging them back their a second time with my camera to get a few pictures of these little twin lambs. Their is another sheep that is big and fat and our neighbor said will probably give birth in another week or so. I am excited to watch these little lambs grow and run and jump in the meadow as I can only imagine lambs doing.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Traveling with Toddlers
I remember days long past when my husband and I would jump in the car and head out for the day without a plan other than to enjoy the day and see where the road takes us. Those days of spontaneity are past now that we have two toddlers. But we are bound and determined to not let the fact that we have little kids keep us from having fun days out. It just takes a tad more advanced planning.
We had a day out yesterday and it went quite well all things considered. We only decided Friday night after the boys were in bed that we were going to make the trip and what we were going to do. That is about as spontaneous as our life gets these days.
Even if it is only a day trip it requires quite the preparation. Medic hubby had a meeting in the morning, so I spent the morning giving breakfast, dressing the boys and packing our bags. How much can one day require? Well, with a 1 and 3 year-old quite a bit. I packed diapers, wipes, snacks, drinks, sweatshirts, jackets, hats, a change of clothes, pajamas, stroller and of course ducky and monkey. So by 11am when medic hubby returned home we loaded up and were on the road by 11:30. This was actually a pretty successful early start for us.
We drove about 45 minutes and then stopped at a fast food restaurant for a quick lunch, which went relatively smoothly. We lost only 1 chicken nugget and a few fries to the floor and only spilled a little bit of milk. We then went to the museum that had been recommended only the day before by a friend. It was a museum that showed how they make their ice-cream and teas. The boys had fun running around and it was very kid friendly. Medic hubby was slightly annoyed that he didn't get to read all the signs (heaven help us), I was just trying to keep from losing a kid. At the end we got to taste their ice-cream which was everyones favorite part!
After a second potty break (taking toddlers to public restrooms is at the bottom of my list of favorite things to do). It usually goes something like this: "don't touch anything", "I said don't touch anything". After he goes, I usually use the bathroom too, then it goes like this: "No, don't look under the door", "no, don't open the door", "I said don't touch anything!". Sigh...I never did like public restrooms, now I hate them!
We then loaded back up in the car and they both fell asleep as we drove another hour to Medic hubby's friend's goodbye party. To my surprise neither were cranky even though they had very short naps as we visited with Medic hubby's friend and others at the party. Thankfully it was a nice day and they could play in his yard. It is always a challenge to corral 2 toddlers in someone else's house that does not have children. While we were there we walked down to the inlet close by where they watched the ducks and played at the edge of the water.
We then said our goodbyes and packed up again. We started our drive home and both were happy. As always we seemed to have slightly misjudged melt down points. We waited a little too long to stop for dinner. We stopped at a diner and this meal did not go quite as smoothly. Both were quite cranky and quite noisy. But we made it through and finished the rest of the drive home. We arrived home with two very sleepy little boys. I think medic hubby and myself were just as tired. Medic hubby said as we were driving home "I don't usually say this, but I'm ready to go home".
It was a tiring day for all of us, but it was a fun day. I'm glad we took the extra effort required to make a trip with toddlers and did it. We only have a few years to make memories with these precious little ones!
We had a day out yesterday and it went quite well all things considered. We only decided Friday night after the boys were in bed that we were going to make the trip and what we were going to do. That is about as spontaneous as our life gets these days.
Even if it is only a day trip it requires quite the preparation. Medic hubby had a meeting in the morning, so I spent the morning giving breakfast, dressing the boys and packing our bags. How much can one day require? Well, with a 1 and 3 year-old quite a bit. I packed diapers, wipes, snacks, drinks, sweatshirts, jackets, hats, a change of clothes, pajamas, stroller and of course ducky and monkey. So by 11am when medic hubby returned home we loaded up and were on the road by 11:30. This was actually a pretty successful early start for us.
We drove about 45 minutes and then stopped at a fast food restaurant for a quick lunch, which went relatively smoothly. We lost only 1 chicken nugget and a few fries to the floor and only spilled a little bit of milk. We then went to the museum that had been recommended only the day before by a friend. It was a museum that showed how they make their ice-cream and teas. The boys had fun running around and it was very kid friendly. Medic hubby was slightly annoyed that he didn't get to read all the signs (heaven help us), I was just trying to keep from losing a kid. At the end we got to taste their ice-cream which was everyones favorite part!
After a second potty break (taking toddlers to public restrooms is at the bottom of my list of favorite things to do). It usually goes something like this: "don't touch anything", "I said don't touch anything". After he goes, I usually use the bathroom too, then it goes like this: "No, don't look under the door", "no, don't open the door", "I said don't touch anything!". Sigh...I never did like public restrooms, now I hate them!
We then loaded back up in the car and they both fell asleep as we drove another hour to Medic hubby's friend's goodbye party. To my surprise neither were cranky even though they had very short naps as we visited with Medic hubby's friend and others at the party. Thankfully it was a nice day and they could play in his yard. It is always a challenge to corral 2 toddlers in someone else's house that does not have children. While we were there we walked down to the inlet close by where they watched the ducks and played at the edge of the water.
We then said our goodbyes and packed up again. We started our drive home and both were happy. As always we seemed to have slightly misjudged melt down points. We waited a little too long to stop for dinner. We stopped at a diner and this meal did not go quite as smoothly. Both were quite cranky and quite noisy. But we made it through and finished the rest of the drive home. We arrived home with two very sleepy little boys. I think medic hubby and myself were just as tired. Medic hubby said as we were driving home "I don't usually say this, but I'm ready to go home".
It was a tiring day for all of us, but it was a fun day. I'm glad we took the extra effort required to make a trip with toddlers and did it. We only have a few years to make memories with these precious little ones!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)