Responsibilities vs. Relationships

The balance between tasks and people has always been a challenge for me.  I am a very task oriented person, I like having check-lists and checking things off...I know weird, right.  I feel good when I get to the end of a day and I know I accomplished a lot.  I give credit to my mom for teaching me to be efficient and run a household to the best of my abilities (she probably doesn't want to take credit, because lately my house is a disaster).  I know responsibility is important and checking off those items is essential.  But I am often convicted of the fact that more important than tasks are people!  I feel I have grown a lot in this area over the last few years especially since kids came along.


The other day we had just put the boys down for their afternoon nap.  I breathed a sigh of relief as my mind was racing ahead to my to-do list for the afternoon.  Most days this is the only time I have to actually get anything accomplished.  Just then we got an unexpected phone call from several college student friends who were close by and wanted to stop by for a visit.  Of course, medic hubby being the easy-going, go with the flow guy that he is told them to come on over.  Now, I love these kids dearly but was slightly annoyed at their timing.  But I gave myself a pep talk of relationships before responsibilities.  I washed a few dirty dishes to make myself feel better and then joined them on the porch.  You know...it was the most refreshing afternoon I had in a long time.  We sat on the porch and talked, laughed and reminisced about experiences we had shared.  It was a delight to catch up with these kids and see how they are blossoming and maturing in to adults.  As, they were pulling away in their car and I could hear the cries from my youngest son waking from his nap, I was reminded of the rewards of putting people before tasks.


I am constantly reminding myself of this with my sons too.  Sometimes, I need to just take the time to play, act silly and enjoy my time with them.  I don't want to be remembered as the person with the cleanest house and the most organized life, I want to be remembered as the one who took the time to listen, laugh and love.  I recently read an article about the lost art of lingering.  I want to learn to linger with people, over a cup of coffee, or during a meal or whatever the situation.  I want to build honest and true relationships where they know they are much more important than my to-do list!


If you have knowledge of Bible stories you may remember the story of the two sisters Mary & Martha and Jesus visiting them.  The short version is that Jesus comes and Martha is busy doing, doing, doing and Mary is quietly sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to him.  Martha complains that her sister is not helping and Jesus answers "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."  Part of me wants to argue that Martha is only doing what is necessary to see to Jesus' needs and is showing hospitality.  But the other part of me knows Jesus is right, sometimes the most important thing is to be still and listen. 


I have to be honest if I really think about it I would much rather be lingering over a cup of coffee with someone than cleaning my house.  So if you come to visit me, my house may be a mess but I will make you a mean cup of joe or a nice cup of tea and sit and linger with you!