Coloring Clouds Blue

I was watching my three year-old son color.  He was carefully coloring the log (tree trunk) brown and then diligently trying to draw circles in the tree because he said they were bird nests. He then went on to color the carrot and bunny.  We then got in to quite a lengthy discussion on the bunny needing to go to the bathroom, which turned in to the question "where do bunnies poop".  And then because he gets stuck on one thing, we had to look for another picture with a tree in it to color.  We came across one that was already partially colored.  As he started to color it he looked at the cloud, which I had colored blue.  He said "no, no mommy clouds are not blue they are white!"  I looked at it and laughed.  I told him he was indeed correct, clouds are white, sometimes grey or sometimes black but never blue.  He was quite appalled at my error and hurriedly looked through his crayon box for a white crayon.  We could not find any white crayons and he said "we will have to go to the store and buy one!"

Was my mistake that hideous that it required an immediate trip to the store for a white crayon?  In his three year old mind it was.  Fortunately three year olds are often easily distracted and we soon moved on to something else.  Am I the only one who colors clouds blue?  For some reason when coloring I always automatically color clouds blue.  It is the silliest most ridiculous thing, have you ever seen a blue cloud?  I have seen the bluest skies, I have seen beautiful white fluffy clouds, I have seen grey dreary clouds, I have seen scary black stormy clouds and I have seen gorgeous sunsets making pink and orange clouds.  But is there such a thing as a bright blue cloud?

This really makes me think.  What is it in my brain that accepts the idea of blue clouds when coloring.  Is it something ingrained from when I was a child.  Something I don't even question but just do.  Are there other things in my life that I don't know why I do them but I just do them anyway.

Okay so I did a little research and I googled blue clouds (I think nowadays googling counts as research, kind of sad).  There are a lot of businesses named blue cloud.  As it turns out there is such a thing as a blue cloud.  When light reflects in certain ways it can make a blue cloud or in certain types of storms clouds can appear blue. Interesting Cloud info website  There is also some strange blue cloud hovering over the earth that can be seen from space according to a 2003 NASA report!

Sigh of relief, so my theory of coloring clouds blue wasn't completely inaccurate.  There is such a thing as a blue cloud.  I can now report this newfound knowledge back to my three year old and tell him mommy isn't completely crazy.  Although I will pause the next time when coloring a cloud, because I think a white cloud is much more realistic, it is the sky we shall color blue!  All of this from my son who colored his bunny green and the carrot blue!

But this has proved to me that it is good and healthy to be questioned in what we do and what we believe.  Because it is imperative that sometimes we dig a little deeper and ask ourselves why do we do this?  Why do we believe what we do?  We are not to follow and do things blindly but we are to live with conviction that what we are doing is good and right and true!

Picture from my very own photos and this does appear to be a blue cloud!  I have seen one!

Insignificant Days

Today was just a normal, average, everyday kind of day.  Nothing big or significant happened.  It was just an insignificant day, a short little bleep on the timeline of my life.  It was a simple day of feeding, playing and caring for my family.  Yet I marvel in the normalcy of the day.  The sticky little fingers that licked the syrup off the waffles and asked for more.  The squeals of laughter as they ran playing and chasing each other.  The simple fun had playing with a ball.  The sweet lengthy prayer of my 3 year old with eyes squeezed tight shut and hands folded.  Watching two little boys color while I made grilled cheese.  Reading books with little ones snuggled close.  Tickling and giggling as I was told to "Chase me and tickle me".  Playing drums made out of plastic containers and two sticks.  And to end the day two sweet babies tucked under my arms as we snuggled and watched their favorite movie.

It is not a day I will remember because anything big or major happened.  I conquered no big feats, world hunger and the orphan crisis remain.  Two issues that I have lost sleep over recently.  It felt like a very insignificant day.  But then I wonder, is their such a thing as an insignificant day?  Are these insignificant days really the significant ones?  Will my sons remember big moments in life or will they remember the small things that happened in the every days?  Do these days of normalcy prepare us for the big moments?

Today, I realized that these normal days are a gift.  A gift to remind me that as small and insignificant as I am in this world; I can make a difference in my little world.  I can live these days with all the thankfulness and enthusiasm that they deserve!  It does not mean that I should not focus on the world at large.  I push myself to not get too comfortable sitting on my sofa living in a land of plenty.  I want to cry tears for the starving, sick, orphaned and unloved.  I need to be uncomfortable with all I have in the scope of the big picture.  But, some days I need to be reminded that my small insignificant days really do have meaning and the little bit I am doing to make the world a better place is significant!  Thank you God for that reminder.  Thank you for allowing me to be your humble servant.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9  

Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk

I never fully understood the phrase "Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk".  That is until my 3 year-old son spilled his entire cup of milk and it ran dripping down the wall onto the floor of my just recently scrubbed kitchen.  The fact that I had just thoroughly cleaned and that a gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gas, on a worse day that would have been enough to make me cry.  But thankfully it was not a worse day and I quietly wiped it up while reminding my son that he needs to be careful.  

The act of not crying over anything spilled seems to be a daily occurrence in our house.  With two toddlers it seems like there are always cheerio and goldfish crumbs just about anywhere.  My husband does not understand how this is possible, I don't understand how it would NOT be possible.  That is unless he decided to hire me a full-time maid!  He commented the other night that he did not have to get a snack because their appeared to be almost an entire granola bar smashed in the throw blanket, yikes.  Ok, so it had gotten a little bad, but cut me some slack I was sick the past two weeks and we were in survival mode.  The living room did get a scrupulous cleaning yesterday and I even washed that throw blanket.

I am so thankful for my mom who NEVER makes me feel guilty about things.  I am thankful she has a laid back mothering style and that she always makes me feel good and reminds me that things are only a passing phase.  When I worry over sleep or eating habits she simply says they will grow out of them.  It made me laugh because at one of my doctor's visits, I told the doctor some advice my mom gave me.  The doctor said "Often mom's don't give the best advice, but I would agree with your mother"!  Go mom, she is doctor approved.  I read in a book one time how there is no one quite like your mother that you can trust with your kids.  They said she is the one person you can count on to grab the baby and their baby book and push you out of the way to get out of the house if it were on fire, haha.

I am also thankful for my dad who tells me I am a good mother.  And I know he has seen me on some of my worst days.  Because let's face it that is where I have ended up with the kids on some days when I was at the end of my patience.  I think there is a special reward God gives to dad's who have all daughters and never complained about it and that is grandsons!  Seeing my dad with my little boys is so fun, he has been enjoying every minute of it.  This is something I will write more about another time.

But, back to the spilt milk, so I googled the phrase.  The Wiktionary told me that this proverb means "It is no use worrying about unfortunate events which have already happened and cannot be changed."  Hmm...this is a very good proverb for me.  Look forward and never back, a lot of things are out of our control and there is really no point worrying over the past.  A person with a positive attitude cleans up the damage and moves on and learns from past mistakes.  No pity parties allowed.  So don't cry over whatever the spilt milk is in your life but move on, always persevering and pressing forward!

"You have persevered and endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary"  Revelation 2:3    

The miracle of life

I have not typed a blog post in quite awhile.  Life has been busy, we are amid a job change for my husband; and me and the little boys have been battling colds.  But when I do not write I find I miss it and I need the outlet to process all that is happening amidst me.  This brings me to my thoughts for today.


The very beginning and conception of life is such a miracle.  A miracle that my husband and I do not take for granted.  A miracle that I feel blessed to really and truly appreciate.  On my toughest days when I feel at the end of the rope with my two precious boys; a miracle I force myself to reflect on.  The fact that I did not conceive quickly (quite an understatement, it took almost 5 years) and the fact that we were blessed through adoption with our first beautiful son has made me into the person I am.  And I am thankful for that.  Yes, I am thankful that I cried bucketfuls of tears longing to be a mother.  Thankful that I felt the ache of empty arms and an empty womb.  Why am I thankful of the pain I endured?  


Because, all of this has made me acutely aware of others pain and suffering and in awe and wonder of the gift of life.  In my small world of family and friends their are 7 babies coming within the next five months!      And within the last several months I have prayed for friends grieving the loss of a baby through miscarriage, I have cried tears with a friend longing to conceive, I have encouraged and supported a young unwed mother, I have rejoiced with a friend who is finally expecting, I have rejoiced for a couple who was finally placed with a baby through adoption, and I am now praying for a baby born too soon.


All of this makes me realize just how vulnerable life is and how fragile the promise of life is.  We all know that none of us are promised tomorrow.  But sometimes we forget the struggle life can have from the very beginning.  It comes in many different ways; infertility, miscarriage, unplanned, unexpected, unwanted, difficult pregnancy, difficult birth, sickness at birth, disabilities and handicaps.


Life is indeed fragile, pray for those in your life who are in these stages of their lives.  Love them and support them.  Intercede when given the chance for those unborn babes!  I know there were many who loved and supported me when I was in this difficult phase in my life.  I will be eternally grateful for all who interceded on behalf of my oldest son.  Grateful to his biological mother for carrying and giving birth to him, grateful for the ladies at the women's shelter who supported and loved his biological mother, grateful to the one's who loved and cared for him when he was born and very sick, grateful to the loving hands at the orphanage who cared for him until we were able to come bring him home!  I am also eternally grateful for those who did not give up praying that we would conceive!  THANK YOU to all who prayed, cried and rejoiced with us upon the gift of life of both of our sons! 


"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  Psalm 139:13-14

The Love of a Good Man

About a month ago my husband and I celebrated 11 years of marriage.  I look at my parents who have been married over 30 years and my grandparents who have been married over 50 years and I marvel and thank God for the heritage of loving and committed marriages that I come from.  I know that being married 11 years IS a big deal these days and I am thankful and in awe of what I have, the love of a good man.  Although when I think about it, this feels like an understatement.  


My husband who loves me unconditionally through the good and the bad, who works tirelessly to support our family, who loves and plays with our children, who is strong in his faith, who is loyal, committed and above all else self-sacrificing.  To call him a good man is an understatement, because to me; he is great!


Marriage is a lot of give and take and we have learned a lot over the years.  We still miscommunicate quite frequently and often are stressed with the responsibility of caring for our two sons.  We have had many disagreements over the years but have always worked through them.  I am not trying to give the impression that our marriage is peaches and cream, because it is not.  It is a lot of daily hard work and grace.


On reflecting over our 11 years of marriage the one thing that I am most thankful for is the experiences I have had along side my husband.  I am a Lancaster county girl born and raised in this fertile farming community.  And I will be honest, I love it here and could easily raise my children and live here the rest of my life.  This sentiment is said much to my husband's chagrin, although I think he is enjoying the beauty of where we are currently living.  There is nothing like looking out the window and seeing rolling, lush, green fields.


But since I've known my husband my horizons have been broadened. I have lived halfway across the country for several years, we have traveled to many different countries and I have now been on 4 continents.  I do have a sense of adventure, but nothing close to my husband.  It has been so good for him to push me to have these experiences and broaden my world view.  I can no longer sit in my comfy, American home and be unaware of the needs of billions of people across the globe.  These experiences we have had, have shaped and molded us in to the people we are today.  We are both more compassionate, loving and deeply in awe of our creator.


I think what turns the love of a good man in to the love of a great man is when it is unconditional.  No matter what has happened in our lives over the last 11 years unconditional love has remained, and this is what makes him GREAT!  And this is what makes me say I look forward to another 50 years with this great man!  For those who aren't married don't settle for good, hold out for great.