Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Utter Chaos

The last few weeks have been nothing but challenging for me.  My two sons are testing me to my limits.  If one decides to be agreeable and pleasant the other will certainly become ornery and defiant.  Please tell me I am not the only one who seems to have utter chaos rule the roost every morning!  I mean you would think we never experienced a morning together in our house before.  Monday mornings when we have to get up, get breakfast and out the door are actually the easiest day of the week.  Maybe it is because I know I am getting a few hours break when I head to work.  But the other mornings of the week seem to be utter chaos.  I have tried to set routines for the morning activities but it seems to be to no prevail.  Undoubtedly one of the two will wake up cranky and not quite ready to face the day.  The other will decide it is necessary to pick on the cranky one.  Most often what we are having for breakfast is not of their liking and gets flung across the kitchen.  Even when I agree to their favorite of scrambled eggs it is a bit of a disaster with both of them trying to stand on one chair to "help" and my 3 year-old son trying to crack the eggs.  My 20 month-old son has a melt down almost daily over the fact that he can have only one vitamin!  Then their is the scuffle over toys and screaming that follows.  It is not unusual for their to have been multiple time-outs before 9am.  And we always have the issue over one bathroom and 4 people.

I am an organizer and a planner and for my mornings to be so far out of my control and seemingly very unproductive is beyond frustrating.  I sometimes look at my children and their behaviour and wonder where I have gone terribly wrong.  For they act as though they were raised in the wild by a pack of orangutans. Then my loving husband reminds me that they are little boys who are 3 and 1 years-old.  Yes, they are toddlers who will some day grow up and I will be one of those weepy moms saying it was just yesterday they were babies and who has amnesia and remembers only the great moments.  And this is a good moment for they are sitting nicely on the porch stuffing their little mouths full of animal crackers and looking pretty stinkin' cute!

I asked my dear hubby if it is normal for me to feel like I am going to lose my mind almost every day.  His reply was "I know I would if I were home with the kids every day".  Haha, if you know my husband you understand he loves his family but most definitely lacks empathy!  But I know these days will too soon pass and I have near panic attacks thinking of sending them off to school.  My husband also says regularly and I agree with him that parenting is the hardest thing he has ever done.  It most assuredly takes sacrifice and perseverance.

The earlier moment of cuteness has passed and it is now 8pm and the one who refused dinner at mealtime is now sitting up and finally eating his dinner.  And the other who pooped in the tub just a few minutes ago is sleepily watching Thomas.  And I persevere on for one day all the things I have been trying to teach will finally sink in and I will be rewarded.  And as far as sacrifice their is no greater gift I can give to my children than the daily sacrifice of parenting them!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

It's a Boys' World

"Insanity" it's the name of the workout DVD set my husband has decided he must tackle.  It is a very strenuous workout that is supposed to make you very fit and muscular.  My husband is very fit already but being the overachiever he is he always thinks there is room for improvement.  As I watched him finish the workout this morning with sweat pouring down his face he commented that this is indeed insanity.  And I said I have my own insanity workout every day and it's called my two toddler boys.  No need for a gym membership for me these days.  My workout is 14 hours straight and if I'm lucky I may have a short break in the afternoon.

My world has become all things boy.  I knew nothing about boys until I had my sons and I am still learning.  I had no idea sticks and rocks were so incredibly fun to play with.  And sit and play in the baby pool, I don't think so, much more fun to dump it and create a mud puddle to play in.  Any noise coming out of either end is extremely funny.  Chasing each other and running laps through the house is the most fun indoor activity.  A 3 year-old boy can talk for 3 days straight about a tree that he saw that fell down.  An 18 month old will consistently poke his pet bunny in the eyes every chance he gets.  Pictures of monsters are drawn on birthday cards.  Playing in the toilet is intriguing.  And the preferred attire is complete nakedness.  Sigh...it's a boys' world. 

Now I agree, that just because they are boys is no excuse for bad behavior.  But I do believe there is a level of physicality early on that is just different with boys.  Like my one friend said of her 2 year-old son, it is like trying to rope a calf just to get a diaper changed.  I have learned to carry my 18 month-old son when he is kicking his legs and throwing a tantrum with his belly on my hip, arms pinned and legs flailing out the back.  You have to learn how to handle little boys and their strength or they quickly over-power you.  

Sunday mornings I look at the little girls at church in their pretty dresses, bows in their hair, fingernails painted and cute sandals on their feet.  Then I look over at my sons who are either shoving donuts in their mouths or trying to run away from me.  And I think, thank you God for the blessings of my sons and thank you for the many things they are teaching me!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Lessons Learned from the Garden

This summer I have attempted my first ever vegetable garden.  The house we are currently living in has a gorgeous big back yard and is perfect for a large garden.

Lesson #1:  Do not be to proud to accept help
We have had some very gracious neighbors who have helped and given lots of advice.  Our next door neighbor who is a "retired farmer" has a huge meticulous garden.  His wife humbly told me it was always his dream to have a big garden but he never had time when he was farming.  She hesitantly after much persisting took the few dollars I offered in exchange for the corn seed they had given.  But she made sure to send me home with a bag full of home-made fasnachts.  I don't even really like donuts but if you have never had a true home-made fasnacht you have not lived!

Lesson #2:  Be persistent
The start to my garden was a little rocky.  My peas which were planted a little late never sprouted.  Apparently there was some worm that was eating them this year.  A few other things I planted by seed never sprouted either.  But I was determined to press on.  I walked down the road to the local greenhouse and bought several tomato and pepper plants.  We then planted corn, green beans, cucumbers and lettuce, all of which have done great.

Lesson #3:  Always let the little ones help
There is something amazing about planting seeds, watching them grow, harvesting and then preparing and eating it.  Not to mention delicious.  It has been wonderful for my sons to help in the process as well.  They now understand that corn, green beans, tomatoes don't come from the freezer or can.  I had my frustrating moments of watching them trample seedlings or pick green tomatoes but I know the value of what they were learning is irreplaceable.  The other day I was preparing lunch and I told my 3 year-old son to go to the garden and pick the reddest tomato he could find and he did and we ate it for lunch.  Today my 1 1/2 year-old son was kept busy for quite awhile by helping to peel off the husk from our corn.

I have a new found respect for farmers.  I don't have to go very far back to find farmers on both sides of my family.  In fact I only have to go to my grandparents.  Both my maternal and paternal grandparents were in to some sort of farming for larger periods of their lives.  But I cannot imagine having your livelihood dependent on the weather and how your crops do that year.

Thankfully my livelihood is not dependent on my garden but we have been enjoying the bounty of fresh vegetables from garden to table!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Sweet Grace of a 3 Year-old

Ok, so I know it's been almost a month since I wrote a post.  What can I say, summertime is a busy time of year and it finds me outdoors away from the computer a lot.  This I am not sad about as sometimes I fear the internet is a time sucker and as you all know time is the greatest gift. 

But an incident that happened today between me and my 3 year-old begs to be written about.  My children continue to test and teach me everyday!

It was 10a.m. and we were trying to get out the door to run a few errands.  They were playing outside for a few minutes while I quickly hung a load of laundry on the wash line before we left.  As I was shooing them towards the car my 3 year-old son announced that he was hungry for breakfast.  I was quite irritated because like 3 year-olds can often be, he had been stubborn at 8a.m. when we all sat up to eat breakfast and refused to sit up and eat.  But I felt guilty because I had not pushed the issue too much this particular morning and had not made him sit and eat.  So, due to my lack of follow through earlier I knew he indeed was probably hungry and marched them back into the house so he could eat some cereal.  This did not make my 18 month-old son happy because he was ready to "go bye-bye" as he says and he had indeed ate breakfast this morning at the appropriate time.  So as I was trying to quiet the fussing of one and watch the other ever so slowly and non-challantly eat his cereal, I off-handedly made the comment that "I am losing my patience".

Several minutes later my 3 year-old son said "Mommy, you lost your patience, but you will find more".  This stopped me cold in my tracks and I turned slowly to him and looked at his earnest and sincere face.  I knew it was time to apoligize, I said "I'm sorry, you are right I did lose my patience and you are right I always do find more".  He then went on to say "I like you and I love you mommy, give me a hug".  So I went over to him and he sweetly wrapped his little arms around my neck and hugged me tight. 

Wow, what a humbling moment.  To be extended grace ever so sweetly by my 3 year-old when I was the one clearly in the wrong.  He simply pointed out what I had done, reminded me I could do better, forgave me and told me he likes and loves me.  He did not pout, complain, get angry and hold a grudge the way I sometimes do when someone is in the wrong against me.

The lessons we can learn from the pure hearts of children are ASTOUNDING. 

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins" 1 Peter 4:8

Ironincally, I had just read and copied this verse down yesterday.  He showed it to me in life and breath.  No wonder Jesus said we should come to him as little children. 

"And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.'"  Matthew 18:3

Grace given to me sweetly today by my son.  Grace given to me daily by my heavenly father.  I do not deserve but they give.  May I give the same to others undeserving in love.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Freezer pops, blue plastic baby pools and the Beach

Just a few weeks ago I was talking with several girlfriends and we were dreaming of cruises on the Carribean and frozen drinks.  Maybe someday we will get to take that vacation together.  But right now we are all in the midst of babies and toddlers and the Carribean sounds pretty far off.

Over the holiday weekend and our heat wave, I decided to break out the kiddy pool for my boys.  I filled it with water when they were napping and put them in their swimsuits as soon as they woke up.  We headed outside to eat our treat of freezer pops and splash in the baby pool.  They had so much fun and were so excited to play in their little tiny blue plastic pool.  As they climbed in and out and chased each other around, I decided that right now freezer pops and the baby pool beat the Carribean and frozen drinks any day!

And then we took a two day trip to the beach....
Wow, did the boys have a crazy fun time.  I mean when else do they get to play in a giant sandbox, chase waves, skip nap time, eat fries and ice-cream, swim in a pool, go to the boardwalk, ride in an elevator and all sleep in the same room.  Yes, they thought it was wild, crazy fun.  Mommy and daddy thought it was exhausting but were glad to make the memories with them.

The beach and two toddlers is challenging.  There was the issue of dragging everything out to the beach, we are talking, umbrella, two beach chairs, towels, sand toys, cooler, beach bag and don't forget the toddlers themselves.  We had a four block walk from the hotel...but we were smarter than that.  Daddy dropped mommy and the boys off and I took them and a few bags and daddy got to park the car and walk the four blocks.  Then their was trying to keep our 18 month old from his kamikaze runs into the ocean.  He even got washed under but just kept going back for more, he has no fear.  Then their was trying to eat lunch on the beach. This seems like an easy task but with toddlers you are bound to end up crunching on sand.  Then making sure everyone is properly sun tan lotioned (I forgot my own back both days).  They did sit and play for periods of time in the sand, which was nice (I think I got to sit for a total of 15 minutes).  Which leads me to the question, why did we even bother with chairs?

I have come to realize that as a parent life is no longer about yourself.  You do things that really are no "vacation or picnic" for yourself...but you do them for the pure joy it brings your children.  I think every loving parent goes to great extremes to bring laughter and joy into their children's lives.  Have you ever thought about how we are always tickling and playing peek-a-boo with babies simply to make them smile or get a giggle out of them.  This is what true love is making sacrifices of ourselves to give to others.  And not only did this beach trip bring great joy to my children it brought great joy to me as a mother.  This is how I want to live my life not just to my children but to all those around me in love and service to others.   Think about this; Is there any greater thing, than to give of yourself in love?

"You, my brothers, were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love."  Galations 5:13



Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Sleeping Baby

Last week I went to visit my friend who just had her baby.  We cooed and fussed over how precious and sweet he was and marveled at the miracle of life.  I tried my hand at holding a newborn again and was glad to see I could soothe and calm him for a few minutes.  But soon he was squirming and rooting and wanted nothing but his momma.  He was not needing to eat he had just done that but I reluctantly handed the little bundle back to his mommy.  I was amazed that in about 30 seconds time he was completely relaxed and contentedly asleep with his little arms crossed in front of him in his momma's arms.  It is so amazing that at 2 days old he knew who his momma was and could immediately relax in her arms.  This picture of him so little snuggled peacefully in his mommy's arms made my heart happy.

It also made me ponder my first few hours with my oldest son.  Our oldest son who is now 3 was adopted from Taiwan.  We did not meet him for the first time until he was 5 1/2 months old.  We received the wonderful news of him when he was 2 weeks old.  Every month the orphanage would send us an updated photo of him.  We mailed clothes, books, photos of ourselves and even a recorded greeting card to him.  We also called several times to the orphanage where they would indulge us by holding the phone up to his ear so we could talk to him for a few minutes and hear his precious coos.  But that was it, our contact with him was very limited. The first ten days of his life were spent in the hospital because he was very sick.  All we know and were told was that "the life was prayed back into him".  The next 5 months he spent in a loving orphanage being taken care of by several different women.

When we traveled over there and finally got to meet him for the first time we were strangers.  Yet we weren't, it was as if by some miracle he knew we were his parents the very ones God had chosen for him.  We bonded instantly with him.  Our very meeting was surprising in itself.  Imagine being in an airport in a foreign country just having traveled for 20 some hours straight.  We were waiting for the person picking us up and we were told our baby would not be coming to the airport.  Suddenly, we hear our names called and we turn and there he is with our SON.  I was overwhelmed with joy and took him in my arms and of course cried.  I remember how we took turns holding him and he just stared at us.  We then had to rush out to the waiting vehicle.  As we drove we held him in our arms and played with him and talked to him.  In what seemed like not very long he was asleep in my arms.






As I reflected on the experience with my dear friend and her newborn it struck me at the miracle of my first meeting with my son.  A baby does not just relax and fall asleep in anyone's arms, they need to feel safe, secure and loved.  I believe that it was only through the grace of God that we bonded so quickly with the son he gave us.  We talk to our son about being adopted and tell him "his story" in words he can understand and process.  Whenever I start telling it or ask if he wants to hear about when we first met, he says "Mommy, you cried".  And I say "yes, I cried because I was so happy to finally hold you and kiss you and hug you".

Now, as I look at the above picture of baby boy asleep in my arms for the very first time I appreciate and understand the significance of it and it brings tears to my eyes.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Double Trouble

I haven't written a post in awhile.  Life has been busy.  A lot of thoughts swirling in my mind but I'm not ready to write about most of them.  So I decided to keep this light hearted because I could use a few chuckles myself as I recall some funny stories from my two precious boys.

The boys both love bath time and enjoy playing in the tub together.  The other week as they splashed in the tub I was finishing washing the dinner dishes.  After awhile I realized there was an unusual amount of hysterical laughter coming from the bathroom.  It was the type of laughter that a mom instantly knows something is happening that shouldn't be.  I held my breath as I opened the door, it was as I expected TROUBLE.  My 17 month-old was pulling pieces of toilet paper off the roll and throwing it in the tub.  My 3 year-old was taking the wet toilet paper out of the tub and slinging it across the bathroom.  I had just changed the toilet paper roll that day and it was now empty.  This meant there was an entire roll of toilet paper in the tub and slung across my bathroom!  Thankfully, we have an extremely small bathroom and the walls are tile, so clean up was not too bad and the bathroom was overdue for a cleaning anyway.

The other morning I was outside playing with my boys.  We had gotten back from running errands so the car was parked in the driveway.  I was sitting on the porch and my 17 month-old went behind the car.  After about a minute I decided I better check on him and just as I'm going around the car I hear him crying.  He had ventured in to our neighbors garden and because of the torrential downpours the night before had sunk into the mud up to his ankles and could not move.  Luckily, I found him before he tried to free himself and it was only his feet that were covered in slimy mud!

I took both of my boys to a baby shower this weekend.  My husband was working and my aunt wanted me to bring the boys along.  Let's just say little boys and a shower are a challenge.  It took my mom, sister and myself to keep them wrangled.  My 3 year-old sucked down two chocolate milks before I knew what happened (the kind waitress had brought him a refill).  My 17 month-old was bound and determined to climb the stairs.  My 3 year-old told my mom that "There's nothing good here to eat".  Apparently caesar salad, lobster bisque, delicious wraps and gourmet chicken are not his favorite.  I was just waiting for one of them to grab the linen table cloth and empty the whole table.  My 3 year-old later made his way to the front of the room where my cousin was opening her gifts.  My other cousin said hi to him and asked him how he was.  He then decided to announce to the entire room "I just had a big poop".  Which was the truth, and it had just happened so I guess he thought she would want to know.  Can I crawl in a hole now!  But apparently at a baby shower anything little kids do is adorable and funny, whew.

We bought a power wheels truck for our 3 year-old son a while back.  He loves to drive it around our yard.  Our 17 month-old son wants to drive it so bad but is not big enough yet.  The other day it was out and my youngest son climbed in it.  Before I knew what happened my oldest son had squeezed in in front of him and was driving them both around.  It is not a two seater but they squeezed in, little brother in the back riding and big brother in the front driving.  They both thought this was the best thing and were having a blast.  They definitely looked like partners in crime and double trouble riding around together!  This is only a smidgen of the stories I could tell.  And I am sure there will be lots more to come.  But I thank God for the blessing of my two sons and the memories that they will make for me!